I shouldn't let others get to me.

Especially when other's are on the other end of a computer, with as many or more problems than I have.

Right now, I feel vulnerable. And words hurt like daggers. And even though I think I can "fake it til I make it," I am timid, shy, and have a hard time stumbling for words to try to eat at someone, like they're eating at me. I can only say fuck you so many times until it looses it's meaning. I can only call someone a  bitch so many times until I think to myself, "really, Mandy, you're calling someone a female dog." I am the first to admit I cannot put up a good fight and in the end the other person almost always wins and I'm in tears.

I know many of the people on Land of Snark keep telling me not to worry, not to think about it, and not to get all bent out of shape because it will bring my BP up and can cause other problems. But I can't help but think about it. I guess I'm an overly empathetic. I think about things like internet buddies and people that live hundreds if not thousands of miles away from me and cry. I think about me trying to bring out the "mean girl" in me and am embarrassed of that behavior because that is SO not who I am. I think of others who have been mean, judgmental, or unfriended me in some way, and feel bad that I did something to offend them. Even if I didn't I get in my head that their reactions are because of my actions. Kind of like Newton's third law, ya know?

Anyways, to those I have offended, I feel the need to apologize. Mainly to Yankee. I'm not the type of person to punch you in the face. Hell, I've never punched anyone or anything other than my pillow. I was wrong to threaten violence on you over such a ridiculous reason. I'm going to copy this and paste it so you'll see it on LoS, but I wanted to put it out there (or here, rather) that I really am NOT that type of person. I'm not a bully, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to set that example for my child.

I realize you might think my problems are petty and that's okay because I don't expect you to be a psychic or read my blog, or even care for that matter. But I'm trying not to use my problems as an excuse to be a bitch, that is wrong of me and isn't even a viable excuse. Yes, I am having issues. Yes, I am worried for the health of my unborn child. But, no that doesn't give me an excuse to lash out on you for voicing your opinion. I sincerely apologize and I hope we can go back to our loving bickering ways. If not, that's okay, but I just needed to get this apology off my chest.

And for all your other slores that want a post dedicated to you....let me know. I'll have a puppy and rainbow fest full of glitter farts and unicorns.

Peace, Love, and Moo my friends.